I hope that no one ever understands

Why I kill myself

I hope that no one ever goes thru

A life like mine

That they could understand

What it was like

Growing up in a family

Where my own parents hated me

Growing up so alone in the world

I hope that no one ever is

A little kid

So desperate for a father's love

That he lets men abuse him

Begs for it

so that someone will touch him

I hope that no one ever

Sit alone

Every night

Like I have

The past 32 years

Crying

Wishing

Someone would reach out

And just hold me

Wishing

Someone could see thru the wall of sex

I use to scare them away

I hope that no one

Ever knows what it's like to know

That no one will ever care

As much

To know that my place will always be

After the wife

After the kids

After the parents

After the friends

After the house

Whatever's leftover

If I'm not too down for you

Otherwise

You tell me derisvely

Just be happy

yeah

It's so in my control

I have so much to live for

yeah

The only people in the whole world who love me

Said we love you, so long as you stay 5 feet away

yeah

I have so much to live for

I hope

That no one ever knows

Why I kill myself

I hope they read these words

The angry part of me hopes they hurt a little

But the part of me that loves the world

I hope

That no one ever knows what it's like

to be me