Blah 14

I'm listening, to songs that make me cry, wondering why, it's not like I've ever been someone someone else could love. Use, respect, fcuk-and-forget, but never love. Fear lives inside of me. Even if you wanted to come closer, I'd hold you away, to keep me safe, to keep you safe. Unclean in the heart, unclean in the head, no one ever will share my bed, again, too many mistakes, questing for what I'm not even sure exists, the miracle of being loved, the miracle of being missed. Every day, I wait and wait, and when the phone doesn't ring, I know it must be from you.


Don't promise me salvation, when you can't even call me on the phone. Don't hold out a hope you know doesn't exist. Leave me alone to die; I'm not some toy for you to tease; I just want someone to please. I know I can never make you happy, I know I'll always fail, this stupid head is filled with clay, when it comes to matters of the heart.