When I was a kid...

When I was a kid, I wasn't really, old ahead of my time.

When I was a kid, my father's career was the most important goal of our family.

When I was a kid, I was kind, sweet, and naive.

When I was a kid, kids used to push me around.

When I was a kid, adults used to take me into back rooms.

When I was a kid, I learned to keep silent.

When I was a kid, I moved every 2 years, sometimes without my parents.

When I was a kid, I day dreamt all the time.

When I was a kid, I dreamed about meeting a wonderful woman who would hold me tight, take away my pain, and never let me go.

When I was a kid, I wanted to fly more than anything...it didn't matter where, just as long as it was away.

When I was a kid, I didn't have sisters.

When I was a kid, our family didn't have money, so my mom made my clothes.

When I was a kid, my mother made me a leisure suit out of polyester american-flag fabric.

When I was a kid, I experienced auditory and visual hallucinations on a regular basis.

When I was a kid, some girls offered me a joint in the bathroom of the 1976-4th-of-July-Beach-Boys-concert in Washington, DC.

When I was a kid, I was a pathological liar and braggart.

When I was a kid, I taught myself how to read, and to tie my own shoes. I didn't tell my parents, because I thought they'd abandon me once I became self-sufficient.

When I was a kid, I fell off the top of a slide, but some stranger caught me.

When I was a kid, I ate Cream of Mushroom soup without reconstituting it. I also ate pepperoni & mayo sandwiches. With cheese balls and grape soda. I used to mimic my mother's handwriting to add them to the shopping list the amah ordered from.

When I was a kid, I used to eat bullion cubes like candy.

When I was a kid, I noticed I have partially-webbed toes.