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How

How can you not hate me, for all I've never done. The words of love I can not speak, lay dormant on my tounge, while you express your love, and caring more than I, I look at you, in desperation, but still I continue to lie. To myself, to the world, to all our friends. I'm terrified of what would change, if I were open mouthed. Even knowing you already know, I still feel sad and small, assuming you despise me, because I won't speak out.

I feel I've disappointed, I feel I've let you down. I feel like I should have been stronger, so instead I'm silent, so instead I have so much I want to say to you, so many tears I wish I could cry into your shoulder.

2001-06-28